Countless Breakdowns, Countless Repairs

“You’ll fix it. You always do,” my mom told me countless times throughout my life as I sat in front of her crying. “I really admire that about you, Jennifer. When something happens, you don’t give up until you’ve solved it. You keep at it.”

The time I knew my marriage was over, but was paralyzed by all that had to be done in order to end it. It was all so daunting, but I knew there’d be no peace until I walked through the mess.

When I graduated college, I had a super hard time finding a job and fell into a depression. I ate tater tots and watched Wings from my bed as she reassured me it would all work out.

I pictured her saying those words to me again when I lost my job. She interrupted the several conversations I had with myself during my 9 month sabbatical.

Me to myself: It’s kinda your fault you got laid off. Now what if you can’t find a job for, like, YEARS and…

Mom in my head: You’ll fix it. You always do.

After another fruitless doctor’s appointment where I try to explain my inexplicable headaches. Finally just breaking down in tears at the hopelessness of it all. Still working on that one.

After mom died, my sister found two identical silver heart necklaces. My mom had meant to give them to us for Mother’s Day. I took mine and got it engraved: YOU’LL FIX IT.

Nothing can ever take the place of the encouragement and faith of a mom. Luckily, I had one whose encouragement will last me a lifetime.

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