“Hey, No Cuts!”: Why I Drive Like a Second Grader

I really hate letting people in front of me in traffic. Sometimes.

Acceptable instances:

The lane ends suddenly without warning

There is road construction

There is an accident

It’s a personal affront to me when someone tries to merge in front of me as a result of their poor planning. OR IS IT THEIR DIABOLICAL PLANNING?!?! The traffic line is long. Really long. The lane to the left of you ends in a few hundred feet and everyone knows it.

Red Camaro thinks he’s special. Red Camaro thinks he doesn’t need to merge. Red Camaro thinks he’ll speed past everyone waiting in the right lanes and then cut in at the front. Red camaro doesn’t know that I will pretend not to see him and tailgate Blue Toyota in front of me JUST SO RED CAMARO CAN’T GET IN.

It’s a sickness.

“Yeah! That’ll teach you!” I think to myself.

Blue Toyota lets him in. “Dammit, Blue Toyota! I thought we understood one another!”

This happens every single morning when I drive Hannah to the bus. Right turn lane is packed with a long line of cars. Left turn lane is almost empty. Everyone knows that they need to be in the right lane. The left lane is garbage after we make that turn! Still, people speed past in the empty lane only to then cut in front of us after the turn. It’s so obnoxious.

Each day I grapple with my pettiness. I hate letting them over, but I hate feeling like a petty wench. Petty wench wins out most mornings. But today I decided to grow toward the sun and use the lane cutters to do it. So I voluntarily let one of the LCs over. I feel very mature. I decide to let an LC over every morning!

But only one.


  1. Stop thinking of it as “cutting” and start thinking of it as “utilizing all of the road’s bandwidth while it’s available”.

    Traffic would become less congested if everyone stopped being such self-entitled, selfish arseholes and learned how to zipper merge (let’s face it, just drive at all) cooperatively. And you’re well on your path. They’re not (all) lane cutters, and letting one over in front of you is what the zipper merge is.

    Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

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